you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
