nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
