is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize