I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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