Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
