Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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