i was born a porn star she said
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
