My hand turned me down
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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