My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
