Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Who died my cat blue again?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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