What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize