I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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