Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
