not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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