I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
