bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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