is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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