Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
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