Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
