She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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