Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
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think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
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so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
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