Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
