I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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