he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
