Yo dont text me then not text me
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
