I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
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