apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize