wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
