I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize