addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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