hotel room ftw
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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