My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
