I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
