Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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