party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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