i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
