I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Randomize
