Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
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The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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