I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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