I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Let's get the cat blown out
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
