rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Randomize
