no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
