I heard we made out
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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