Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
