I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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