Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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