I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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