Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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