It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
