SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
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We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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