So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.