I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.