Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.

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(515): He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar. http://tfl.nu/v158

Replies (54) Good night (2913) Bad night (1181)
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(414): View more from Wisconsin

honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing

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(414): honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing http://tfl.nu/5ke6

Replies (17) Good night (4132) Bad night (787)
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(323): View more from California

I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning

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(323): I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning http://tfl.nu/dryp

Replies (22) Good night (5963) Bad night (1211)
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(504): View more from Louisiana

Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?

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(504): Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag? http://tfl.nu/x8h9

Replies (22) Good night (4762) Bad night (1234)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.

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(443): Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere. http://tfl.nu/ui38

Replies (20) Good night (1421) Bad night (3835)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher

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(401): She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher http://tfl.nu/uenp

Replies (16) Good night (2408) Bad night (2642)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.

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(505): Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower. http://tfl.nu/q0tv

Replies (6) Good night (980) Bad night (2624)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.

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(304): I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable. http://tfl.nu/ox4w

Replies (3) Good night (2429) Bad night (689)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.

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(570): I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club. http://tfl.nu/5u2s

Replies (13) Good night (1608) Bad night (1214)
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(678): View more from Georgia

I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.

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(678): I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success. http://tfl.nu/rhn6

Replies (4) Good night (1480) Bad night (471)
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(585): View more from New York

I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one

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(585): I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one http://tfl.nu/3p0c

Replies (1) Good night (1057) Bad night (384)
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(217): View more from Illinois

what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"

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(217): what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?" http://tfl.nu/sbqo

Replies (9) Good night (775) Bad night (1179)
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(765): View more from Indiana

Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?

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(765): Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ? http://tfl.nu/48lr

Replies (1) Good night (816) Bad night (650)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter

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(513): I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter http://tfl.nu/gfsm

Replies (2) Good night (619) Bad night (474)
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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse

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(267): Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse http://tfl.nu/qtg9

Replies (3) Good night (421) Bad night (215)

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