I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine