Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.

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(248): View more from Michigan

She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.

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(301): View more from Maryland

i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up

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(305): View more from Florida

Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.

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Read it at the TFLN blog
(806): View more from Texas

My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.

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(512): View more from Texas

just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.

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