is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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