wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
