it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
