That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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