I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
