I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
