It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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